When they ask me if I am in love with anybody, I will shake my head. I will not say her name, because I do not want anybody to know.
They’ll push me into describing her, nevertheless. I’ll tell them she is the kind of girl that you’ll fall in love easily, and irrationally, without any reason. You wouldn’t even notice the first day you started falling for her. Because you just do. There’s something about the way she smiles, and laughs; through your dark days her smile is like your sunshine, and during your happy days, her laughter is probably the reason for it. Being around her, feels just right, and for those moment, everything in your life feels just in-tact. I will tell them it feels so good, and words can’t describe it.
I’ll tell them that this all comes naturally effortless. I mean, the way she brightens up your day, and makes you smile stupidly to yourself, and all those little things, and you’d only realise how much you love her when its 3am, and you still try to hide your silent giggles because of what she said to you earlier on in school. Loving her is so irrational. I’ll tell them that, of all the times I tried to speak to her, maybe because of her awesomeness – no words came out, or the wrong ones do. I won’t tell them how much it hurts.
I won’t tell them how much I lose myself around her. I won’t tell them how much my heart breaks whenever others come around her so frequently, and I never had that chance too. I will leave out the fact, that I start to feel empty and numb immediately after, that I needed to feel something, so I felt the scarring emotional pains drumming the beats of my heart, and happiness confirms itself as an illusion.
I’ll leave out the things that is noteworthy about love. I’ll make love sound like its the best thing a person could ever ask for in his life, when I know it s just another beautiful way to destroy yourself.
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Maybe, it is really true. Love is a drug. It is addictive, and it harms you.
But my parents only warned me against those pills sold suspiciously in dark packs or bags in eerie secluded alleys. Never had they talked about the one with sparkling eyes, mesmerising voice, and a really beautiful soul.
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